morganknight | Inbox for Avalon

I dunno, I'd say I'm coping pretty well, all things considered.

[ She gets the joke, but her capacity for humor right now is nearly nonexistent. ]

I mean, my first choice was brooding on a rooftop somewhere. And even that's a whole hell of a lot better than pretending to be dead.

I'm glad you came over.

[Really, he is. He likes to think he can help, but... if nothing else, she cares about him and respects him and trusts him, and that's all to the good. Sometimes those qualities are what you need most in life.]

You're not allowed to pretend to be dead, though. I've had too many people I cared about actually be dead for that to ever be okay.

[ She's glad she did too, even if her familiar gets most of the credit. It's hard to reach out when you're suffering because people you care about mistreated you.

She grimaces at his comment, then huffs a sigh. ]

I probably wouldn't have agreed to it if I hadn't been more than half dead to begin with.

[ She refuses to feel guilty for a decision she doesn't even clearly remember making. Especially not when it turned out to be exactly what she needed. ]

I'm personally invested in keeping you out of that state to the best of my ability anyway.

[The past is the past, and involves him not at all. Why feel guilty about it? It's the present, and to as much extent as practical, the future, that concerns him.]

By the way, speaking as not a segue at all unfortunately, I'm one hundred percent on board with your opinions on necromancy.

[ There's not much she can say to his first statement. She appreciates the sentiment, but they both know that things don't always work out. She lives a dangerous life, and she can't seem to change that even when she wants to.

In context she's not really sure how to take the comment on necromancy. An hour ago she told someone if she was ever raised from the dead she'd punch the person responsible but... it just hits sort of weird coming from her boyfriend.

She chooses to ignore the feeling. ]

I'm glad. Even if losing people does suck.

[ She also feels a little weird saying that when almost everyone she knows back home is dead. But still. ]

[Morgan nods his agreement, but then straightens up slightly.]

And it's life. I wouldn't trade a moment of the time I had with anyone I cared about to spare myself any amount of pain at all.

[A hard-learned lesson. But a vital one. Especially here, where friends could vanish without warning. He'd come into this world, and particularly this relationship, with that knowledge... and like he said. He wouldn't trade a second of it.]

[ She manages the tiniest of smiles, just for a moment, but it's definitely upwards of totally flat. ]

I think... I'm probably the same. I dunno. All I can remember right now is the bad stuff.

That can be the hard part, yeah. Tell me something that makes you smile. A memory of someone.

[ She has to think about that for a long while. Obviously memories of Avalon don't really count for their purposes. She'd thought about it after Truth or Dare, too, but had given up after a few minutes of consideration. So many of her memories of being happy just remind her of how things went wrong.

It really shouldn't be this hard to think of happy memories with her friends from home. There's definitely something wrong with her. ]

...I took Supergirl out to see the old black and white Dracula one time. Then somebody's science experiment went wrong and 24 cape-wearing Bela Lugosis jumped out of the screen and started attacking people. We spent the night hunting them down and staking them. That was pretty fun.

[ Her tone is smiling, even if her face isn't. ]

...I'm glad we're together, Steph, because I don't know what I'd do with a girl who didn't consider that a good time. [Morgan giggles slightly, because the mental image is absolutely terrific.] I hope none of them managed to sock your blahd!

[ She manages another of those tiny smiles. His mood has always been pretty infectious. ]

They sort of tried. Mostly they made a lot of very dramatic speeches.

[Sometime that's all it takes to influence someone's mood.]

Really, you let them get that far into them? I'd assume as soon as one started going on about how he was immortal, bam, well-timed stake.

We did go out to be entertained.

[ She scrapes the last of the ice cream from her carton, then reaches across the table to grab the second carton. ]

[Morgan nudges it over. Don't get sick, Steph.]

Good point. Sounds like my kind of night, too.

[ Hey, you can't think about the past while you're fixated on your stomach. She digs in without reservation. ]

Being Batgirl did have its moments. But I guess that's why I kept coming back, in spite of everything.

I still admire you for that intensely, y'know. You don't forget that, if my opinion means anything.

[He says this fairly casually, but his eyes belie his intensity. He's not joking. If anything, he's understating it.]

[ She looks up at him with uncertainty in her own eyes and returns a small smile as her heart warms. It means a lot in this moment, looking back at all the times Tim has tried to convince her to quit. She still thinks of it as a weakness, foolish recklessness she never seems to learn from. ]

It does.

[So often, people take the attitude of, 'I don't want this person I care about to get hurt.' Which is reasonable, and sensible... but. If you accept that one of the reasons you care about that person is that spark, spirit, and will to put themselves in danger for others, then you have to accept that they're going to do that.]

[There's never a choice between the heart and the mind, if you know your heart and your mind. All is one.]

Good. 'Cuz I want a partner, not a housewife.

[ She can appreciate that narrow line they walk, even if-

Wait, housewife? Did he just say 'housewife'? Obviously he meant that figuratively, it just caught her by surprise. What were they talking about again? Her train of thought has been fully interrupted. ]

...What if I want a househusband? Somebody's gotta stay home with the kids.

[ Even she isn't sure if she's serious. At this point words are just coming out of her mouth. ]

I mean, part-time's fine, but I can't cook. That's kind of a big miss on the househusband thing.

[Seriously, staying at home and just being a father would be pretty cool with him -- part-time. He's got a ton going on, after all!]

I can't really cook either. I guess we're gonna have to practice.

[ What is she talking about? They're not even living together, they're definitely not getting married, and children are so far in the future that she can't even picture it. You know what, she's just going to stuff her mouth with ice cream until her brain either starts working again or freezes. ]

[They're pretending, that's all. Pretending that everything is normal and that they have a normal path ahead of them. But... well, it's an option, isn't it? If everything fell out properly. So maybe it's more of a reminder that they can have such things, despite everything. Maybe because of everything.]

[Belief is a powerful thing.]

That's about the only way I will. But I would!

[ Steph having a future does not compute. It never really has. She's at a bit of a loss here. How does being normal work again? ]

...Wait, you're rich, aren't you? Why can't we just hire someone else to cook for us?

I could, but that seems like such a cop-out. [Morgan rubs at the side of his head with his knuckles, a bit self-conscious.] And don't ask me why that's weird but ordering food or going to a restaurant all the time isn't. I'm not THAT enlightened yet!

[ She stares at him for a moment, trying to work out why this might be the case. ...Nope, she's got nothing. ]

I don't get rich people.

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