Inbox for Avalon

[morganknight]

You've reached Morgan Knight.
And I'm not here.
Go.

Comments

[morganknight]

You're the one with healing, I dunno what to tell you there. [And boy does he miss his own ability, sometimes.]

[ichoosefight]

[ She shrugs. ]

I have to be able to focus. I can't use it much on myself.

[ She never has bruises anymore, though! ]

[morganknight]

And we'd like to avoid ordinary reasons why you'd need to do that. [They won't and don't, of course, but he's pretty sure they can both agree they don't like her being hurt.]

[ichoosefight]

No, we want to avoid the weird reasons. I do gymnastics, I get bruised.

[ 'Want', yes. ]

[morganknight]

I mean... isn't the goal to eventually get good enough that you don't get bruised?

[And then you do more challenging things, which get you bruised, and the cycle continues, but it's the principle of the thing.]

[ichoosefight]

[ ... ]

[ that's not actually something she's ever questioned ]

[ what is the goal ]

I think the goal is mostly 'not getting killed'.

And having fun.

[morganknight]

"Getting better" has to be in there somewhere, right? [Even if unintentionally, wouldn't it just happen from practice?]

[ichoosefight]

Not really. I quit the team my first year of high school. I dunno if I'd even call it a hobby, just a skill.

Exercise, I guess is a goal.

[morganknight]

Eh, I'm not sure that says anything about you, except that you're not the sort to enjoy high-school team rules. But hell if I know, I never went to a normal high school.

[ichoosefight]

That's not really how gymnastics teams work...

Anyway, what it says is that I don't really care about improving. Which is what I'm saying, too.

[morganknight]

[Yeah, he's not buying it. Not when she's taken up a mantle that constantly, constantly demands the best and better! But whatever works for her... well, works for her!]

Well, you know me. Everything is a learning experience. And I've sure learned a lot tonight!

[ichoosefight]

[ That mantle makes very specific demands, and "avoid injury" is not actually one of them. Whoops. ]

From hearing me whine?

[morganknight]

Naw, I didn't hear any of that. [Morgan props his chin on a hand, smiling at her.] You should know by now I think you're amazing. Even if you don't.

[ichoosefight]

And you should know by now that I don't have any rose-colored glasses. What'd you learn aside from my dramatic backstory?

[morganknight]

My glasses might be trending purple-tinted. [Which is a little amusing -- since if there's a color that tends to be associated with him besides black or white, it's green. Not exactly the perfect chromatic pairing, there.] I learned a lot about how hard you try and how far you're willing to go to make a difference. Not that I didn't have the general idea anyway, but that sure makes it clear.

[ichoosefight]

You could call it that.

[ She would say she was cleaning up her own mess and trying to satisfy her own pride, but apples and oranges. She does vividly remember dragging her broken body up half a flight of stairs and across one roof trying to find Batman before she passed out. Even she's impressed by how much pain she can still function with. ]

And it's probably good for you to know the limits of my healing power.

[morganknight]

[Someday he'll have to tell her the story of how a torturer accidentally broke him so he couldn't feel pain for a while. That wasn't his favorite time, honestly.]

I do call it that. Trying to make a difference in the world counts for a hell of a lot, for me. Hell, we met 'cuz you threw a party!

[ichoosefight]

[ Someday she'll have to tell him the story of her pretend death. Only not, because nobody ever needs to hear the entirety of that story.

She doesn't answer for a time, though there's half a wry smile on her lips as she stares absently at the empty ice cream carton. Is that what she really wants, underneath it all? To make a difference? He's raised some good questions, and they're going to take some serious thought. What exactly is it that she's been trying to prove all these years, and why? She might end up on a high rooftop after all, just to get her thoughts in order. ]

I really just did that for me, you know. I was having a pretty rough time.

[morganknight]

Sure. [Morgan points at her with the hand not propping up his chin, thumb cocked.] But of all the things you could've done for yourself, you chose one that also brightened up the lives of other people too.

[Bang. Shots fired, try and avoid that hit!]

[ichoosefight]

[ She blinks at him. He's not wrong, but... ]

...What do people usually do when they've been grieving for too long? Like, normal people who don't hide from their problems on top of gargoyles.

[ That's a serious question, Gotham doesn't do grief in any kind of normal way. ]

[morganknight]

[Morgan is about to answer, when he actually has to think about that...]

[And promptly turns bright red, as he realizes what his personal answer is to that.]

Uh, that's -- different for everyone. Phil--philosophically, I'd say the answer is in acceptance.

[ichoosefight]

[ This time she understands, pretty immediately. She keeps her face straight as she slowly raises one eyebrow. Honestly, that doesn't seem much healthier than brooding on gargoyles. But if he had perfect mental health they probably wouldn't be friends. ]

...I'm not sure that's how that works.

[morganknight]

[His, uh, way, had been a lot more... fun?]

[Morgan clears his throat.] Death is a part of life. Everything ends. Everyone you know will die. Friendships you make will someday stop existing. People you love will leave you, one way or the other. When that happens... you accept that you knew that from the beginning. And that even though it's over now, that you're hurting now, you had joy and happiness and warmth that can never, ever be taken away from you.

[ichoosefight]

[ Oh she's sure. But she looks elsewhere, staring into space with an almost neutral expression. She's not sure the party really helped. Maybe it was just the passage of time. Maybe she's still just going through the motions. ]

I just... didn't expect to lose everything all at once. Not just people. My home, my city, my planet. I always hoped that it was still right there, on the other side of the dome.

[morganknight]

Yeah. That's really understandable. And sometimes it's very, very hard to know when to accept it, and when to keep fighting for it -- whatever it is. I talk about accepting the end of friendships, but when all this is over, I'm sure going to try to find a way to reach people I've met here again. I never even met my parents to mourn them and I still plan to violate time and space to get them back.

[Morgan shrugs. The difference to him is clear, but that's from time and experience and some guidance by people very well suited to help him in this matter.]

If I were in that situation, I think what I'd try to do is take it one piece at a time. You can't come to grips with everything at once... just part by part, you know?