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Dec. 2nd, 2005 09:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
morganknightDeath. So often I think about death.
Death turns the wheel of life.
Seamus died, not long ago, or did he? He crossed one threshold, though not another, because Mara brought him back. Restarted his heart, and maybe with any luck repaired the damage it suffered. Diast came within inches, too, and if not for Stormy she'd have passed from my life too.
I am scared. So very scared.
I won't let anyone die, no one I care about, so long as I have any power to stop it. I've lost too many people. My fate seems to be that of a death-dealer, rather than a life-giver, but I don't believe in fate. I'm *not* condemned to bring nothing but death to the world, even if it seems that's all I could do up to this point. I have the strength to make a difference, and the will to choose what that difference will be!
Death. Jack dies, so we seek to avenge it. Dimitri dies in the attempt. My parents die, setting me on my path. Death, death, death.
I'm so scared. So very scared. I almost lost her. I came so close to losing her.
I can't let anyone see it, though. I have to be the strong one. I have to always believe that things will work out, for those times when others doubt.
But in these quiet pages I can let myself be as truly terrified as I am.
Death turns the wheel of life.
Seamus died, not long ago, or did he? He crossed one threshold, though not another, because Mara brought him back. Restarted his heart, and maybe with any luck repaired the damage it suffered. Diast came within inches, too, and if not for Stormy she'd have passed from my life too.
I am scared. So very scared.
I won't let anyone die, no one I care about, so long as I have any power to stop it. I've lost too many people. My fate seems to be that of a death-dealer, rather than a life-giver, but I don't believe in fate. I'm *not* condemned to bring nothing but death to the world, even if it seems that's all I could do up to this point. I have the strength to make a difference, and the will to choose what that difference will be!
Death. Jack dies, so we seek to avenge it. Dimitri dies in the attempt. My parents die, setting me on my path. Death, death, death.
I'm so scared. So very scared. I almost lost her. I came so close to losing her.
I can't let anyone see it, though. I have to be the strong one. I have to always believe that things will work out, for those times when others doubt.
But in these quiet pages I can let myself be as truly terrified as I am.
