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Jun. 1st, 2005 08:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
morganknightI could write a book, I swear.
Nothing ever seems to come easy. Things had been going very well with Katie living down the hall. We hung out, I watched Liam sometimes to give her a break, I learned a little bit more about cooking. What *she* got out of it I don't know, but I hope it was something. Then bam, back comes Seamus. Not only do those to reuinte with a fight, big surprise there, but Seamus pops up later about how he doesn't want Katie to live away from home. Doesn't want her to stop thinking of it as home, as if she ever could.
Back up a moment. Cass basically moved out on Irina, and I can't blame her. Nonentity is too charitable a word to describe how I regard her and the others involved... Anyway, Cass was intent on leaving, so since she and I get along well, I said she could move into my apartment. She hasn't lost the need for someone to be around to keep her from brooding, to drag her out and keep her from slipping back into old habits that are no longer useful in Rhydin. I wasn't about to let her just go rot, so there you go.
Now Seamus offers to let me sleep in the spare bedroom at their house. Now A, I didn't even know if he'd begun to discuss this with Katie, or if she wanted me there, and B, fuck! How can I watch over both Cass and Katie at the same time? Cass decided to solve the problem herself, and was on the hair's edge of moving out and abandoning everything. She and I had words about the matter. Strong ones.
In the meantime, things get shockingly weirder. Gin-Hu, a Jedi -- I'm sure I've mentioned her before -- anyway, we've been walking once or twice, walking and talking, and generally making common cause. She pops up and asks me, in a distracted way, if I view her as a woman. Confused, I finally manage to get it out of her that she has some actual interest in me. Why is it even good news is bad? I don't know if I'm ready for this. They say it takes a year to get over someone.. And when I look inside myself, I can feel how different I've become, in these short months. Scarred, is the best way to put it. I've had scars carved across myself, and when I check to see if I can move in old ways... everything's different.
I really don't know how to put it. But of course I didn't even get the luxury to think about it. No sooner did Cass tell me she was moving out than Gin-Hu pops up and tells me she's being reassigned, nice to know you, never gonna see you again. And an easy, if cowardly and painful, way out that would have been, had it evidently not been the last snowflake needed to spark massive internal rebellion against the ways of the Jedi Order. She suddenly decided to abandon her own, and abscond to the one Mer's Jedi friend belongs to, which as I understand it is more advanced in the reforms made after the re-founding of the Order. I wished her well, and said goodbye.
Things just hung for a few days. Cass apologized, and didn't leave, though she has a new friend now and I haven't much had a chance to speak to her. Gin-Hu reappeared abruptly the other day, dramatically changed in appearence and calling herself Diast now, in keeping with her new identity. It's been four years for her -- stupid Rhydin time warps, though I appreciate not having to wait that long. It seems to have helped her a great deal, the move, she definitely seems happier than she did. Maybe she just feels freer to *be* happy.
Cass shipped out today. Seamus is back, so I can only hope she won't stay away long. All I can do at this point is keep my fingers crossed for everything to work out okay.
Nothing ever seems to come easy. Things had been going very well with Katie living down the hall. We hung out, I watched Liam sometimes to give her a break, I learned a little bit more about cooking. What *she* got out of it I don't know, but I hope it was something. Then bam, back comes Seamus. Not only do those to reuinte with a fight, big surprise there, but Seamus pops up later about how he doesn't want Katie to live away from home. Doesn't want her to stop thinking of it as home, as if she ever could.
Back up a moment. Cass basically moved out on Irina, and I can't blame her. Nonentity is too charitable a word to describe how I regard her and the others involved... Anyway, Cass was intent on leaving, so since she and I get along well, I said she could move into my apartment. She hasn't lost the need for someone to be around to keep her from brooding, to drag her out and keep her from slipping back into old habits that are no longer useful in Rhydin. I wasn't about to let her just go rot, so there you go.
Now Seamus offers to let me sleep in the spare bedroom at their house. Now A, I didn't even know if he'd begun to discuss this with Katie, or if she wanted me there, and B, fuck! How can I watch over both Cass and Katie at the same time? Cass decided to solve the problem herself, and was on the hair's edge of moving out and abandoning everything. She and I had words about the matter. Strong ones.
In the meantime, things get shockingly weirder. Gin-Hu, a Jedi -- I'm sure I've mentioned her before -- anyway, we've been walking once or twice, walking and talking, and generally making common cause. She pops up and asks me, in a distracted way, if I view her as a woman. Confused, I finally manage to get it out of her that she has some actual interest in me. Why is it even good news is bad? I don't know if I'm ready for this. They say it takes a year to get over someone.. And when I look inside myself, I can feel how different I've become, in these short months. Scarred, is the best way to put it. I've had scars carved across myself, and when I check to see if I can move in old ways... everything's different.
I really don't know how to put it. But of course I didn't even get the luxury to think about it. No sooner did Cass tell me she was moving out than Gin-Hu pops up and tells me she's being reassigned, nice to know you, never gonna see you again. And an easy, if cowardly and painful, way out that would have been, had it evidently not been the last snowflake needed to spark massive internal rebellion against the ways of the Jedi Order. She suddenly decided to abandon her own, and abscond to the one Mer's Jedi friend belongs to, which as I understand it is more advanced in the reforms made after the re-founding of the Order. I wished her well, and said goodbye.
Things just hung for a few days. Cass apologized, and didn't leave, though she has a new friend now and I haven't much had a chance to speak to her. Gin-Hu reappeared abruptly the other day, dramatically changed in appearence and calling herself Diast now, in keeping with her new identity. It's been four years for her -- stupid Rhydin time warps, though I appreciate not having to wait that long. It seems to have helped her a great deal, the move, she definitely seems happier than she did. Maybe she just feels freer to *be* happy.
Cass shipped out today. Seamus is back, so I can only hope she won't stay away long. All I can do at this point is keep my fingers crossed for everything to work out okay.
