(no subject)
Oct. 1st, 2004 11:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
morganknightFed up, just fed up. I'm sick of putting up with this shit.
So Dakota has decided for whatever reasons that I'm the source of all Angelin's misery and problems, and the little boy thinks he can take me on. Funny, sure, but I'm fed up with it. All I *ever* said to Angelin was, "I'm upset because Seamus and Katie seem to have replaced me with you." Now, where does that fault her? Where does that put the blame on her?
And yet, no matter how many times I told her, "I don't hate you," "Staying away from the Rose won't help things, it'll make them worse," and "I don't *want* you to stay away," all she hears is "It's your fault and stay away forever." I am *not* going to be held responsible for her actions. I refuse, after I spent time and effort laying out for her, in no uncertain terms, exactly how I felt, to be held accountable for her not coming around, or her being upset. She heard what she wanted to hear, not what I said. God help anyone who dares think they have a right to complain to me about this.
"I'm just doing this because I love you, Morgan." Bull. Fucking. Shit. You're doing this, Angelin, because you don't give a flying fuck about anything but your own problems, and you think you'll be held innocent and blameless if you stay away. And in doing this you're just dumping the whole problem onto ME, plus all the shit everyone will force-feed me because they'll think I told you to stay away.
God help anyone who tries it. And God help Seamus if he starts laying into me for Dakota. You know, I'd love to sit down and talk with Seamus and Katie. I actually got to exchange about four sentences with Katie last night, which is more than I've done since before that note showed up. (The hospital doesn't count, she was pretty incoherent then.) But the fact is, I CAN'T talk to them. Because whenever I see them, they're always either busy working, or trying to kick everybody out so they can bang in the back rooms.
Meanwhile, Ronnie is beating the fuck out of Kym, I haven't seen Sashra for a couple of days, and I keep getting flirted with by an alcoholic Druid. Oh, I swear to God, the next person who gives me one *iota* of shit I don't deserve is getting it full-force, both barrels, right in the fucking *face*. I'm sick of this shit. I'm sick of being everyone's fucking scapegoat. I'm sick of answering for other people's faults and mistakes, and being expected to act like *I* don't have feelings because other people *do*. I'm fucking sick of it all.
Shit. Class.
So Dakota has decided for whatever reasons that I'm the source of all Angelin's misery and problems, and the little boy thinks he can take me on. Funny, sure, but I'm fed up with it. All I *ever* said to Angelin was, "I'm upset because Seamus and Katie seem to have replaced me with you." Now, where does that fault her? Where does that put the blame on her?
And yet, no matter how many times I told her, "I don't hate you," "Staying away from the Rose won't help things, it'll make them worse," and "I don't *want* you to stay away," all she hears is "It's your fault and stay away forever." I am *not* going to be held responsible for her actions. I refuse, after I spent time and effort laying out for her, in no uncertain terms, exactly how I felt, to be held accountable for her not coming around, or her being upset. She heard what she wanted to hear, not what I said. God help anyone who dares think they have a right to complain to me about this.
"I'm just doing this because I love you, Morgan." Bull. Fucking. Shit. You're doing this, Angelin, because you don't give a flying fuck about anything but your own problems, and you think you'll be held innocent and blameless if you stay away. And in doing this you're just dumping the whole problem onto ME, plus all the shit everyone will force-feed me because they'll think I told you to stay away.
God help anyone who tries it. And God help Seamus if he starts laying into me for Dakota. You know, I'd love to sit down and talk with Seamus and Katie. I actually got to exchange about four sentences with Katie last night, which is more than I've done since before that note showed up. (The hospital doesn't count, she was pretty incoherent then.) But the fact is, I CAN'T talk to them. Because whenever I see them, they're always either busy working, or trying to kick everybody out so they can bang in the back rooms.
Meanwhile, Ronnie is beating the fuck out of Kym, I haven't seen Sashra for a couple of days, and I keep getting flirted with by an alcoholic Druid. Oh, I swear to God, the next person who gives me one *iota* of shit I don't deserve is getting it full-force, both barrels, right in the fucking *face*. I'm sick of this shit. I'm sick of being everyone's fucking scapegoat. I'm sick of answering for other people's faults and mistakes, and being expected to act like *I* don't have feelings because other people *do*. I'm fucking sick of it all.
Shit. Class.
