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Mar. 29th, 2004 08:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
morganknightI think I am starting to see a pattern here.
I trusted Nhairis very much. I believed we had a rapport, that she actually *liked* me -- rather than just being some distant sensei who trained me only in martial arts. She was a mentor to me...
My mistake was thinking that the feeling was mutual.
I asked Katie if I could adopt her because I do feel some special connection to her; something I don't quite understand. She makes me happy, I can talk to her about things. That's the sort of thing I think a person should feel towards one's siblings. Like I told her... I didn't want to "make" her family, so much as acknowledge the fact that I already felt she was family.
My mistake was thinking that the feeling was mutual.
All the time I was away, I missed Cadence. It wasn't like I was crippled and miserable, but it just felt like... something was missing. Something important. Like if someone took Cross away from me... I'd still HAVE a soul but it would be far away. When I came back, when I saw her again, it was like... coming home. Like I found the place where I belonged, and I was back there.
I meant what I said. I do love her.
My mistake was thinking the feeling was mutual.
...Cat just gave me the usual reaming for feeling sorry for myself. She can bite me. She's got Stephen to love her and Don and Syd to parent her and friends who will back her through everything...
I just shouldn't let people close any more. Then I can never, ever, ever make a mistake about how they feel about me.
I trusted Nhairis very much. I believed we had a rapport, that she actually *liked* me -- rather than just being some distant sensei who trained me only in martial arts. She was a mentor to me...
My mistake was thinking that the feeling was mutual.
I asked Katie if I could adopt her because I do feel some special connection to her; something I don't quite understand. She makes me happy, I can talk to her about things. That's the sort of thing I think a person should feel towards one's siblings. Like I told her... I didn't want to "make" her family, so much as acknowledge the fact that I already felt she was family.
My mistake was thinking that the feeling was mutual.
All the time I was away, I missed Cadence. It wasn't like I was crippled and miserable, but it just felt like... something was missing. Something important. Like if someone took Cross away from me... I'd still HAVE a soul but it would be far away. When I came back, when I saw her again, it was like... coming home. Like I found the place where I belonged, and I was back there.
I meant what I said. I do love her.
My mistake was thinking the feeling was mutual.
...Cat just gave me the usual reaming for feeling sorry for myself. She can bite me. She's got Stephen to love her and Don and Syd to parent her and friends who will back her through everything...
I just shouldn't let people close any more. Then I can never, ever, ever make a mistake about how they feel about me.
