Not wanting your friends to worry about that sort of thing is right next to not wanting friends, y'know. You can't stop me from worrying a little! But I promise not to make a big deal out of it randomly.
[He isn't a hypocrite if he takes the position that he used up all his right to people worrying already... right? And if not, it's fine to be a hypocrite, he has absolutely nothing worrying going on at all right now aside from that one thing he's not going to mention again.]
I do think those fakes were actively out to harm the people connected to the identities they took. I didn't see one single one not causing trouble. Heck, some of them were actively murderous.
Changelings, doppelgangers, mimics, all that sort of thing are staples of fantasy stories, right? And here we are in a land that resembles those stories. It doesn't surprise me that there's some fact underlying it all.
Nobody wants their loves ones hurting them in any sense of the word. What you saw of Father... it wasn't quite like him. It was, but wasn't? He wouldn't have gone that far to get me to go anywhere with him. If it had been him, he would have simply left me or had my ex-fiance show up for me.
There's nothing shameful about it at all. Not feeling something, in your situation, would have been a particularly bad sign.
Some things provoke responses no matter what. If I push you a little, your body will automatically try to right itself and regain balance, no matter what you might want to do, even before you have a chance to really think about doing it. Exploiting that response is a principle of martial arts, but since everything is martial arts, there's no reasons monsters and maniacs can't exploit it too.
Martial arts is unity. Spirit and mind, mind and body, self and universe. The deeper that unity, the more you flow in harmony with everything, instead of moving against it. And since that is true for everything, everything is martial arts.
I hadn't ever thought about it like that... although, I am not familiar with martial arts. My friend from home has studied aikido, though. She'd have a more thorough understanding, I'm sure!
(insert plug for my self-defense and martial arts classes here)
Aikido is where I began, and that's where that principle of reacting to a shove comes from. If it helps you at all, fighting back against that shove or the motions that come after it isn't the way to do it. You have to move with what your opponent is trying to do, without permitting them to achieve it. And that's true of an attack against your mind or your feelings that comes the same way.
[Haru's problems with this in the first place are pretty much the answer to that question, aren't they?]
Yeah, and I can't tell you exactly how because it's unique to you. I can tell you what I think the principles are: you still have complicated feelings for your father, but first and foremost, you are yourself. The first part is how you move, by accepting those feelings rather than struggling against them. The second part is how you find your balance, co-opt the attack, and turn your opponent's actions against them. Those are the principles I'd abide by, in your place.
But something else might work for you better. Or you might do exactly what I said, but on your own terms and with your own understanding.
[ There's a delay in her response as she mulls over Morgan's words.
Her feelings had always been complex, that much is known to her. It was demonstrated with her will of rebellion not being strong enough when she first entered her father's Palace, therefore not being able to summon Milady to her full power.
Her hesitation could have spelled out so much more danger and trouble not just to herself, but her new friends. If she hadn't been pushed to the brink, would she have found her resolve?
Now with Mari-san, she feels caught in a similar dilemma. She isn't necessarily hesitating this time around, but the result is what frightens her, even if Akira had assured her it would be alright. ]
I suppose I haven't really gotten over Father's passing. I didn't realize it was affecting me so much more than expected. Life kept moving on and I had much to focus on. There wasn't any time.
[ Time to grieve, or to simply breathe. Shido was a threat and they had to take immediate action. ]
So now you learned something new about yourself and you can grow from it. I won't say it's a good thing that it happened, but you can make good come from it.
I know technically these people would not qualify as "friends", but before I met the friends I have now, there were people who didn't really care to listen to such matters. All they cared about was how they could win favour with my father, or once they found out whose daughter I was, they maintained a distance.
I've been down my journey of self-discovery, no worries there. Friends and family and loved ones in no small amount. Wasn't an easy journey but it made me a better me.
Trying to get me to talk about myself and not you, huh? :D
I was born on Earth, so I don't need to tell you about that. Where I live now and consider home is a nexus realm -- a place where infinite times and spaces and realities converge. Kind of like here, really, except a lot more settled about it. Weirdass mishmash of magic and technology and history, it's really great if really insane. My family at present consists of an adoptive mother, an adoptive sister and her ever-growing family, and technically my twin sister but we're pretty estranged, honestly.
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[He isn't a hypocrite if he takes the position that he used up all his right to people worrying already... right? And if not, it's fine to be a hypocrite, he has absolutely nothing worrying going on at all right now aside from that one thing he's not going to mention again.]
I do think those fakes were actively out to harm the people connected to the identities they took. I didn't see one single one not causing trouble. Heck, some of them were actively murderous.
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They attacked more people? That's horrible.
I wonder... where they came from and why.
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But even if you set all that aside, it's a pretty primal fear, right? The people you value suddenly turning on you.
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What you saw of Father... it wasn't quite like him. It was, but wasn't?
He wouldn't have gone that far to get me to go anywhere with him. If it had been him, he would have simply left me or had my ex-fiance show up for me.
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It feels a bit shameful to let it have bothered me so, even knowing he was not the real thing.
[ But what does she do with the grief of a second death now? Or is it third? Once in a cognitive world, once in the real world, now this... ]
He's been long gone now.
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Some things provoke responses no matter what. If I push you a little, your body will automatically try to right itself and regain balance, no matter what you might want to do, even before you have a chance to really think about doing it. Exploiting that response is a principle of martial arts, but since everything is martial arts, there's no reasons monsters and maniacs can't exploit it too.
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Martial arts is unity. Spirit and mind, mind and body, self and universe. The deeper that unity, the more you flow in harmony with everything, instead of moving against it. And since that is true for everything, everything is martial arts.
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My friend from home has studied aikido, though. She'd have a more thorough understanding, I'm sure!
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Aikido is where I began, and that's where that principle of reacting to a shove comes from. If it helps you at all, fighting back against that shove or the motions that come after it isn't the way to do it. You have to move with what your opponent is trying to do, without permitting them to achieve it. And that's true of an attack against your mind or your feelings that comes the same way.
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Grappling, yes? Mako-chan told me a little about it.
So... when Father pushed against me, I should have moved with him?
[ How does that work on an emotional level? ]
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Yeah, and I can't tell you exactly how because it's unique to you. I can tell you what I think the principles are: you still have complicated feelings for your father, but first and foremost, you are yourself. The first part is how you move, by accepting those feelings rather than struggling against them. The second part is how you find your balance, co-opt the attack, and turn your opponent's actions against them. Those are the principles I'd abide by, in your place.
But something else might work for you better. Or you might do exactly what I said, but on your own terms and with your own understanding.
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Her feelings had always been complex, that much is known to her. It was demonstrated with her will of rebellion not being strong enough when she first entered her father's Palace, therefore not being able to summon Milady to her full power.
Her hesitation could have spelled out so much more danger and trouble not just to herself, but her new friends. If she hadn't been pushed to the brink, would she have found her resolve?
Now with Mari-san, she feels caught in a similar dilemma. She isn't necessarily hesitating this time around, but the result is what frightens her, even if Akira had assured her it would be alright. ]
I suppose I haven't really gotten over Father's passing. I didn't realize it was affecting me so much more than expected.
Life kept moving on and I had much to focus on. There wasn't any time.
[ Time to grieve, or to simply breathe. Shido was a threat and they had to take immediate action. ]
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All they cared about was how they could win favour with my father, or once they found out whose daughter I was, they maintained a distance.
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Friends and family and loved ones in no small amount. Wasn't an easy journey but it made me a better me.
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I was born on Earth, so I don't need to tell you about that. Where I live now and consider home is a nexus realm -- a place where infinite times and spaces and realities converge. Kind of like here, really, except a lot more settled about it. Weirdass mishmash of magic and technology and history, it's really great if really insane. My family at present consists of an adoptive mother, an adoptive sister and her ever-growing family, and technically my twin sister but we're pretty estranged, honestly.
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please... forgive her
/pets kindly
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good to wrap with incoming sleepr!
o7