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Nov. 14th, 2004 07:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
morganknightIt is very good to know that some people still care about me, are still on my side. I put up a tough front, act like none of this is bothering me, but despite that I think if it weren't for Sashra, Kym, Stephen, and Cat, I would be.. gone. Lost. I don't know.
I feel like I've lost so much of myself, I have nothing really left to give. Even when I know I should feel something strong, something fierce... sometimes I don't any more. Cat told me Duncan is dead. I feel for him, and for those who were left behind. I do. But I think I should feel it more strongly than I do.
Somewhere out there, there is a little boy who will grow up never knowing who he's named after. And two parents who will regret that name every time they think of it. THAT I feel strongly about. That tears at me. I woke up crying last night. I'm glad Sashra wasn't there. She has enough to deal with.
I'll put this behind me. I will. I won't ever let myself be broken. It's just a matter of how I'll change.
I feel like I've lost so much of myself, I have nothing really left to give. Even when I know I should feel something strong, something fierce... sometimes I don't any more. Cat told me Duncan is dead. I feel for him, and for those who were left behind. I do. But I think I should feel it more strongly than I do.
Somewhere out there, there is a little boy who will grow up never knowing who he's named after. And two parents who will regret that name every time they think of it. THAT I feel strongly about. That tears at me. I woke up crying last night. I'm glad Sashra wasn't there. She has enough to deal with.
I'll put this behind me. I will. I won't ever let myself be broken. It's just a matter of how I'll change.
