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Aug. 29th, 2004 04:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
morganknightAnother night for the ages. This time, though, it wasn't my fault. Ronnie thought that, were Sashra and I to start dating, we would forget about her, no longer be her friend. I don't know why she would think that, and yet I understand all too well. Leon told Sashra and I; she ran. And I don't know how to describe it, but... I know any other time, I probably would have just left, walked away, given up. But there was too much riding on it this time. There was too much at stake for me to give up.
I need to remember what I told Ronnie.
I know what it's like, to wreck everything, to make bad decisions, to have a darkness inside you that you see all too clearly, and can't understand why no one else sees. I understand that. So do you, and for that, you and I will always be close in a way these two walking rays of sweetness-and-sunshine will never quite comprehend. And I know that the hardest thing to do is put aside that darkness, and say to yourself, "These are my friends. They care about me, after everything that we've been through, and all the stupid dumb bad shit I've done. They are still my friends, and they want to be my friends, because of who I am. Even with all my flaws, they care." And we do. We want to be your friends, Ronnie. Even now. *Especially* now. And I know how hard it is to put away that darkness inside. I'm doing it right now. Do you think this is easy?! Do you think this is something I can do lightly? That I wouldn't normally be hating myself and locking myself away, for having hurt you, for having failed you as a friend! But I'm out here, dammit! I've put away my darkness because *you are my friend*! Now... put away your darkness, and come back to us. Come back to your friends.
And she did. Now, it's my turn... to put away my darkness.
I need to remember what I told Ronnie.
I know what it's like, to wreck everything, to make bad decisions, to have a darkness inside you that you see all too clearly, and can't understand why no one else sees. I understand that. So do you, and for that, you and I will always be close in a way these two walking rays of sweetness-and-sunshine will never quite comprehend. And I know that the hardest thing to do is put aside that darkness, and say to yourself, "These are my friends. They care about me, after everything that we've been through, and all the stupid dumb bad shit I've done. They are still my friends, and they want to be my friends, because of who I am. Even with all my flaws, they care." And we do. We want to be your friends, Ronnie. Even now. *Especially* now. And I know how hard it is to put away that darkness inside. I'm doing it right now. Do you think this is easy?! Do you think this is something I can do lightly? That I wouldn't normally be hating myself and locking myself away, for having hurt you, for having failed you as a friend! But I'm out here, dammit! I've put away my darkness because *you are my friend*! Now... put away your darkness, and come back to us. Come back to your friends.
And she did. Now, it's my turn... to put away my darkness.
