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May. 23rd, 2004 07:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
morganknightHeaven and hell, what's the world become and what am I going to do with it?
The other night, after I came home from the Tavern back to the dojo, I had a surprise waiting for me -- in the form of Lila, who'd had the crap beaten out of her. See, she'd been harassed by a guy at work, who I had gotten fired, and he'd come back. He definitely beat her up, he was probably planning to rape her, till she killed him. By accident, entirely, in the course of her self-defense.
I healed her. I still hold myself party responsible, for precipitating him coming after her. We had a long talk that night, and again the next morning... and it didn't go well. It never goes well, it seems, and I ended up... taking the day off, to think.
Did I get much thinking done? I suppose. A great deal of it was worrying, though, worrying about the people I know, wondering how to help them, how not to hurt them. In the end, I didn't actually accomplish much, running around my head in circles...
I went to the Tavern for a drink, only to discover Maiko there, getting drunk and drunker. Angelin and I took her back to my apartment, since she was utterly out of it, and let her crash on the couch. Angelin and I talked afterwards. I made the situation clear to her -- with Lila, and that they both were interested -- and she said okay, she's willing to date me despite that.
The next day I went to see how Lila was doing, and take her out to lunch, and in both respects I succeeded quite well. She's doing all right, though I still worry about her. We went to get some Indian food, and then I took her back to Rhydin to meet my pets. She got along very well with all of them -- really, really well. She'd mentioned something to me about wanting to be a vet... she could do it, she could do it very well.
She's a Verbena, incidentally. And now I remember playing with her, so long ago, back in those memories I need to meditate to recover.
And she's interested in me, too, she wants to date me.
I don't know what to do about this. I can't even imagine how it can possibly play out. Lila and Angelin both interest me, just in completely different ways. Angelin is more playful, more mischievous. She's more of a challenge, but she has her soft side too. The downside is her shielding -- her deflecting serious inquiries and conversational topics to avoid getting hurt. Lila is more open, more honest, more caring in some ways or at least better able to show it. The downside is that I seem to be able to make her blame herself or be unhappy far more easily.
I don't want to hurt anyone. I know someone will be. I don't know what to do.
The other night, after I came home from the Tavern back to the dojo, I had a surprise waiting for me -- in the form of Lila, who'd had the crap beaten out of her. See, she'd been harassed by a guy at work, who I had gotten fired, and he'd come back. He definitely beat her up, he was probably planning to rape her, till she killed him. By accident, entirely, in the course of her self-defense.
I healed her. I still hold myself party responsible, for precipitating him coming after her. We had a long talk that night, and again the next morning... and it didn't go well. It never goes well, it seems, and I ended up... taking the day off, to think.
Did I get much thinking done? I suppose. A great deal of it was worrying, though, worrying about the people I know, wondering how to help them, how not to hurt them. In the end, I didn't actually accomplish much, running around my head in circles...
I went to the Tavern for a drink, only to discover Maiko there, getting drunk and drunker. Angelin and I took her back to my apartment, since she was utterly out of it, and let her crash on the couch. Angelin and I talked afterwards. I made the situation clear to her -- with Lila, and that they both were interested -- and she said okay, she's willing to date me despite that.
The next day I went to see how Lila was doing, and take her out to lunch, and in both respects I succeeded quite well. She's doing all right, though I still worry about her. We went to get some Indian food, and then I took her back to Rhydin to meet my pets. She got along very well with all of them -- really, really well. She'd mentioned something to me about wanting to be a vet... she could do it, she could do it very well.
She's a Verbena, incidentally. And now I remember playing with her, so long ago, back in those memories I need to meditate to recover.
And she's interested in me, too, she wants to date me.
I don't know what to do about this. I can't even imagine how it can possibly play out. Lila and Angelin both interest me, just in completely different ways. Angelin is more playful, more mischievous. She's more of a challenge, but she has her soft side too. The downside is her shielding -- her deflecting serious inquiries and conversational topics to avoid getting hurt. Lila is more open, more honest, more caring in some ways or at least better able to show it. The downside is that I seem to be able to make her blame herself or be unhappy far more easily.
I don't want to hurt anyone. I know someone will be. I don't know what to do.
