morganknight (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
morganknight) wrote2004-03-30 10:42 pm
morganknight) wrote2004-03-30 10:42 pm
(no subject)
I really, really, really, really need to learn to just give up.
I should really find a life away from the Moon and the people I call friends, because I really am starting to feel that I have only two choices in life. I can stay silent, in which case no one notices or cares I exist, or I can speak, in which case everyone turns on me.
What hurts is that people I consider my friends, like Stephen and Cat, are part of this too. Lately it's like my existence means absolutely nothing to them. I get a token hello, a wave, and if I try to say any more, I get a general low-level stream of cranky abuse directed towards me. Sheesh. I wonder where I went wrong there. Maybe they just drifted away from me... Or maybe they feel like L does, that I really am just a worthless human being, and they just don't say it out of politeness, or concern.
I don't know any more. Somewhere I went catastrophically wrong.
I should really find a life away from the Moon and the people I call friends, because I really am starting to feel that I have only two choices in life. I can stay silent, in which case no one notices or cares I exist, or I can speak, in which case everyone turns on me.
What hurts is that people I consider my friends, like Stephen and Cat, are part of this too. Lately it's like my existence means absolutely nothing to them. I get a token hello, a wave, and if I try to say any more, I get a general low-level stream of cranky abuse directed towards me. Sheesh. I wonder where I went wrong there. Maybe they just drifted away from me... Or maybe they feel like L does, that I really am just a worthless human being, and they just don't say it out of politeness, or concern.
I don't know any more. Somewhere I went catastrophically wrong.